Lebur saja.


Seharusnya lebur saja seperti air hujan. Ia turun, ada, lalu menguap. Entahlah kemana ia akan tiba. Mungkin itulah gambaran mengenai nasib hidup manusia. Good? Bad? Who knows? Hanya Tuhan yang tahu. Kontrak budaya yang super gila. Membuat kita lupa, bahwa sesungguhnya hidup hanyalah persoalan mengontrol pikiran kita dan bagaimana caranya menggunakan informasi yang terbatas. Eh..namun […]

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Selamat malam, Koevolusi.


Langit senja perlahan turun sampai pada akhirnya batas dengan buminya hilang. Lampu – lampu kota bermunculan, menggantikan bintang yang muncul seadanya. Bulan muncul malu-malu. Indah bukan? Hanya aku dan kopiku, juga dirimu..dalam fikirku. Mencintaimu dalam setiap hembusan nafas. Menghayatimu dalam setiap gerakku. Engkau tiada pasti, namun aku masih disini, mencintaimu. Entah kenapa. Di ketik ketika malam […]

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Intelegensi Intuisi


Engkaukah itu? wahai intuisi yang bersembunyi dibalik nadir, Seperti kabut tipis yang menyelimuti pesona lembah Mandalawangi. Engkaukah itu? wahai intelegensi yang hadir turun ke bumi bersama embun pagi. Engkaukah itu? wahai cahaya yang bergelora, menghantarkan kasih bagai mahligai. Engkaukah itu? wahai simfoni yang berkumandang halus di semesta dan menggetarkan palung-palung terdalam di lautan. Engkaukah itu? […]

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[ARC] Levi : As The Wind Blow


Seorang manusia adalah seperti apa yang dipikirkannya. Bahkan sebelum kita melakukan sesuatu , kita harus menanyakan terhadap diri kita sendiri : Siapakah saya? Jawaban kita setelah itu menentukan pilihan-pilihan kita yang lain. Tak ayal hidup memberikan manusia pilihan-pilihan yang sulit. Hidup ini tidak mutlak hitam dan putih, namun abu-abu. Dan dia berada di sana, lelaki […]

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Rana.


Tidak ada tempat yang lebih aman dibanding rahim ibu. Tidak ada yang lebih nyaman selain pelukan yang menenangkan ketika engkau sedang bersedih. Dan Rana tahu, betapa sesungguhnya ia kesepian dan letih. Ia membutuhkan gravitasi, yang mampu menjejakkan dirinya ke tanah kembali.  Lama, Rana menatap layar ponselnya. Ia bertahan duduk di atas sofa yang terletak di […]

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Reinier.


Hening namun bukan damai. Inilah hening sebelum badai tiba. Pekat seperti kegelapan di bawah lampu taman yang mati. Rapat seperti gerimis hujan yang turun tiba-tiba di awal bulan Januari.  Seseorang berjalan ke luar balkon. Dia menatap lantang ke atas langit. Sesuatu di balik langit. Sesuatu yang mengatur kehidupan, yang mengatur kematian ia menatap : Tuhan.  “Aku […]

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I’m Graduated !!


Kini Tidak lagi menggebu. Tidak lagi mengharu biru. Hanya damai, untukku. (aku berharap kamu juga) Izinkan saya untuk bahagia meski tanpa dirimu. Izinkan saya untuk nyaman dengan diriku. Izinkan saya untuk melepasmu. Izinkan saya untuk mengantarmu dengan 🙂 Terimakasih.

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“Instead of win…


“Instead of wings. I want to be the one who has many hands. So i can hold many people.” -Tablo-

Me too. I want to have a bigger heart. So with that i can hug many mankind. 
It was a dream of me. Because i really know, the feeling when you’re lefted alone, the sad feeling. For honestly, for a past year, i am thinking about being die.  The frustation feel really – really depressed on me.

But once day, when i’m walking to downtown. I’m seeing a man, maybe his age at 40 years old. I forgot his name, but at that time he was hold a box in the edge of road. When i see clearly in to the box that he was hold, there was poster which is said: Donation for My Son (i forgot the name, poor this memory.) He got Leukimia. First time i’m ignored him, i think that was such a trick. But that old man face expression, until now i can’t forgot about it. He just standing alone in a crowded edge of the road. He does not stand up to beg for others even though he holds a box for donations. He just stood on the side of the road with tired eyes! I know he’s not poor. From his appearance he was not a beggar! But thoose eye, you can’t say that was a trick to manipulate others. As once i go to the near shop, what i see before go to the shop is kinda haunted me. My intuition say that: i need go there, i must to go there again. In rush  i’m turn over and go to the old man again.

My intuition was right. Once i met with The Old Man, i grab some bucks to join donation. ’cause of that we had a little chit chat.

“Sorry,Sir. May i ask you? From what time your son got Leukimia?”
“My son age is 4 this year. But the doctor diagnosed him in the summer last year.”
“Where is he now? Are he was hospitalized ?”
“No, we just taking his in our home. We don’t have much money left to put him on hospital. I had to sell my car, and other that worth to sell. But with his condition. We can’t longer take him on hospital. Only regularly when he need a Chemotheraphy.”
“Oh,my Lord. I hope he will get better soon.”
“Aamiin.”

After that he gave me some poster about what are he doing. On that poster, he feel very ashamed to make donations on road like this. But as father, he can’t stand to see his own child die.

 At that time i read the poster on my way to go home. I cried. Cried a lot.

God shows me, from that Old Man a something to learn. I’m ashame to my self. My problem was nothing if i compare it to The Old Man burden. The reality that he need to face everyday was so….heartbreaking.

From that experience, i won’t thinking so foolishly to want do a suicide again. I have reason why i born. Okay, it was unclear until now. But life isn’t about a destination right? Life is a journey. I have a time as much as i needed to figure it out. 

In my progress, i want to hold many people hands. I want to have a bigger heart to accept them. To make people now that they are worthwile. World is a sad place? WE CAN TURNING TABLE AND MAKE IT A HAPPY PLACE TO LIVE IT! TO MANY MANKIND!

A hapinness wouldn’t reduce if we share it, it actually increases. Make your self happy, love your self, you’re worthwile. Start accepting your self and after that you can understand the world. 

Namaste.

p.s sorry for the long post. Teehee~ 

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